Don't Take Anything Personally is the next agreement we'll explore on this journey of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Ruiz explains that this and the next two agreements stem from the first agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Don't Take Anything Personally:
*What others say or do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
*Nothing others do is because of you.
*When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
In a nutshell: what others say, think and do is not about you. It's about them!
This was such a liberating revelation for me!
We all have our own opinions and judgments. And that's all it is. It is our opinions and judgments that are based on our own beliefs and perceptions.
There is so much freedom in knowing that the moment you notice you're entangled in another's story, you can immediately choose to interpret it differently and understand that it's their perception and their beliefs, not yours.
You can choose not to agree with their story, not to get caught in the drama, not to believe it and not to suffer.
You only suffer when you accept to agree with others' stories, beliefs and opinions.
Personally, I used to struggle with criticism. I would allow it to affect me so deeply that it would literally take me into this whirlwind of chaos and confusion.
Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy would surface and I'd question by own abilities and would collapse into self doubt.
This is what Don Miguel refers to as 'emotional poison'. He goes on to say:
"Taking things personally makes you easy prey for predators. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up."
I now realize that whenever I feel this 'poison', I can step back and observe: Am I standing in my power and in my truth or am I choosing to entangle in someone else's story?
If I accept another's perspective and believe in their opinions and judgments, I get sucked into their story. The poison then becomes mine.
You energize emotional poison with your own self judgement.
Not only can you get sucked into others' stories when you agree with them, but the poison will also spread inside you.
Your mind then voices those same opinions and dwells on them in agreement with others' drama. You indulge in self criticism and suffering.
When you refuse to eat emotional poison, you stand in your power and remain calm and confident.
"Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don't need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally."
By being aware of your mind and not taking everything your mind tells you personally, you can choose to gently and compassionately release those self judgements.
When you learn that we all create our own stories, you can now speak and act more freely and confidently knowing that your words and actions are yours and not anyone else's.
If someone gets upset or offended by something you say or do, it's their choice to agree with you. They can take it or leave it. Having said this, also realize that you are fully responsible for all you words and actions.
As I mentioned earlier, this agreement stems from the first agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Let your intention be to communicate clearly, to always speak from a place of truth and love, always honoring, supporting and uplifting others.
You can avoid many upsets by refusing to take anything personally, regardless of whose opinion it is: your own mind or someone else's beliefs.
Don't allow others' opinions and beliefs to be imposed upon you. Remember, it is emotional poison. It is their reality not yours.
By cultivating a practice of self awareness, you can shift any thought or feeling to serve you better.
It is a moment to moment choice. Be loving and kind with yourself, and embrace yourself wherever you are. It is the intention that matters.
When you learn not to take anything personally, you can easily let go of the misconceptions.
Harness the power of this life changing agreement and move on to create your own empowering and epic story!
Schedule your exploration session to discover how this and other agreements you've made with yourself are supporting you in your personal evolution or hindering you in your prosperity.
In Lak'ech,
Blanca